What kids want their divorced parents in Pennsylvania to know

Find out what kids of divorced parents wish their mom and dad knew to pave the way for a healthier family future.

While divorce can be hard on anyone, it can be especially taxing on those with kids who are involved in the divorce. Pennsylvania parents can often put more on their shoulders than they need to when it comes to breaking the news to their children that they are going through a divorce. To help everyone involved, here are several things kids of divorce want their parents to know:

You are probably worrying more than necessary

It is normal for parents to worry about their children, no matter how old the children are and no matter if the parents are married or no longer together. But when it comes to divorce, parents tend to worry more than necessary about how the divorce will impact their children, which could be a reason the parents decide to stay together when they are better off dissolving the marriage, because they do not want to upset their children’s lives.

You have not failed

Parents often put themselves under a great deal of stress when raising a child, which makes sense. But divorcing parents can feel as if they have messed up in raising a family when things do not work out as they feel they should. The fact of the matter is that the health and strength of a marriage is not intrinsically tied to the health and strength of a family.

Your child is not your counselor

During something as emotionally and mentally draining as a divorce or child custody case, mothers and fathers can sometimes reach out to their children as a source of comfort or a way to make sense of the situation. It is important to remember that it is not a child’s responsibility to act as a therapist or counselor to their divorcing parents. It is better that divorcing couples actually talk to licensed therapists if they feel they need emotional and mental support during the divorce. Doing so is bound to be better for everyone involved since therapists have a background in such matters and know just what to say to help parents get to the meat of the matter.

You should not speak poorly of your ex

Something else divorcing parents should refrain from doing is speaking ill of their child’s mother or father, no matter how badly the marriage might have gone. Bad-mouthing anyone can make quite a psychological impact on developing and impressionable minds. Rather than speaking ill of anyone around kids, it is better to lead by example and show that the end of a marriage is not the end of the world.

Kids are just part of the equation when it comes to divorce in Pennsylvania. To handle all other factors involved, be sure to work with an experienced lawyer.