In the long run, getting a divorce can improve your life. Nevertheless, it is very challenging in the short term, and one of the biggest challenges may be telling your spouse that you want a divorce.
While it can be difficult, you should not avoid the conversation and file without your spouse’s knowledge. Out of consideration for your spouse, you should have the conversation face to face, assuming that it is safe for you to do so. Psychology Today offers some ideas to help make the difficult conversation easier.
Prepare for your spouse’s reactions
It can be difficult to predict how your spouse will react to the news that you want a divorce. He or she may acknowledge that things have been difficult between the two of you, so the news may not come as a surprise.
On the other hand, the news takes some spouses completely off-guard. You may wonder how that could be, but if you and your spouse have not been communicating very well lately, it may not be completely unreasonable that the news may come as a surprise. Because your spouse’s reaction is difficult to predict, you should prepare for different contingencies.
Be assertive but respectful
It is natural that your spouse may feel angry or sad upon hearing the news. You should show respect for his or her feelings. This can help set the tone for the rest of the divorce process, as well as what comes afterward.
However, do not make too big a show of sympathy or offer your spouse comfort. Be assertive and show your spouse that you are firm in your resolve.
A conversation about divorce is not one you should rush into. Take some time to think about it and prepare beforehand, and plan what you are going to say.