The concept of a “perfect divorce” seems like an oxymoron. After all, divorce is one of the most stressful events any of us will ever go through. The most difficult part is the toll it can take on our emotions. Some psychologists say divorce is 95% emotional and 5% legal.
But processing those feelings is essential to have the best possible divorce outcome. Having experienced legal guidance is also advisable to navigate the three most important issues of dividing property, determining parenting time and sharing income through alimony or child support.
Seven tips to navigate divorce with respect and dignity
While your lawyer focuses on the legal process, there are steps you can take to protect you and your children’s well-being and avoid a “nasty” divorce. They include:
- Be sure: Don’t threaten divorce unless you’ve exhausted all other options to save the marriage. Spouses who make rash decisions often regret it later.
- Protect your children: You and your soon-to-be-ex still have at least one thing in common, you both love your kids. Parents should never put children in the middle of their disputes.
- It’s OK to compromise: Working with your spouse to find common ground not only reduces the time and cost of divorce but sets a positive tone for the future, especially for co-parenting.
- Don’t overreact: You’ll likely be frustrated many times during the process and even afterward. But keep your eyes on the future, and don’t allow continuing disagreements to trigger angry responses.
- Share parenting time: Your children need both of you, and Pennsylvania courts prioritize their relationship with both parents. Being unified on this will help them recover faster.
- Communicate: If you and your ex can’t stand to be around each other, find other ways to talk, such as using parenting apps that include a shared calendar.
- Take time for yourself: Utilize your support system of relatives, friends and professionals. They want to help you, which can keep those intense feelings from negatively impacting your kids.
Getting the support you need will help you get through this painful time. Even a “perfect” divorce is still a life crisis, and it will take time to heal.