Many of us were taught that putting the needs of others ahead of our own helps make us “good” people. There is some truth to that, especially when we prioritize what’s best for our children. But how much should you put up with if you are in a bad marriage?
Many spouses in dysfunctional unions think they should stay together for their children’s sake, or they may be afraid to break out of a codependent relationship. But there are instances when divorce can be the most positive step forward.
Here are five potential “deal-breakers” for spouses
In many cases, working to strengthen marriage through counseling or other means should not be discounted. But here are five situations where getting a divorce can be the logical, healthy choice:
- You are physically abused: Domestic violence destroys families. Spouses who put their partner’s safety, health and life at risk have already violated the sanctity of marriage and should be held accountable.
- You are emotionally abused: Name-calling, intimidation, silence and guilt are also a part of domestic violence. These actions often occur when physical abuse is present, but not in all situations. Financial abuse is also common in many of these relationships.
- Your spouse abuses drugs: A partner’s substance abuse often leaves them incapable of being a fit spouse or parent. You can still try to help them even though it may be time to move on.
- Your spouse has a personality disorder: A leading psychologist believes that one out of five adults has a mental illness making it impossible for them to understand love or kindness. No matter what you do, they are unlikely to change.
- Your spouse has checked out: Some spouses are not abusers or addicts but are unwilling or unable to address and solve problems. They may be nice people but will likely never strive to be equal partners.
Ultimately, the decision is yours if any of these circumstances exist in your relationship. Getting a divorce is never pleasant, especially when your children’s futures are at stake. But it’s often the best way to achieve a fresh start and a positive outlook. A good first step is talking to an experienced family law attorney who understands the available options and how to protect your interests.