Numerous videos depict young children joyfully greeting a parent returning home. However, these are not reunions after vacations. Instead, the parents are participating in a custody arrangement known as nesting, where they take turns living in the family home. In this arrangement, the children remain in the same home, their “nest,” while the parents rotate in and out according to their custody schedule.
The goal of the arrangement is to provide stability for children, minimizing disruptions in their daily lives. Those in favor tout its benefits, noting the children have the continuity of staying in their bedrooms and not having to shift between homes. The arrangement does come with risks and can become particularly difficult if either parent finds themselves in a serious relationship. As such, it is important for those who are considering this arrangement to move forward cautiously. Address the following concerns before deciding if nesting is the best custody arrangement for your family.
#1: Scheduling
It is important to clearly define custody schedules and responsibilities in a legal agreement to prevent misunderstandings. Before finalizing this agreement, develop a draft and review it with the other parent. What would the arrangement actually look like? Do the logistics work for both parents?
#2: Property rights
Although the children are the primary residents of the home, they do not take on the ownership legalities. As such, it is important for the parents to discuss how they will handle ownership. Outline the particulars for responsibilities regarding mortgage payments, utilities, and maintenance.
It is also wise to consider the second property. When parents are not living in the family home they will need another space. This may be a second piece of real estate or an apartment. It could be owned jointly or separately. Discuss these particulars before finalizing the arrangement.
#3: Privacy concerns
If able to iron out the previous concerns, the final discussion involves privacy. It is important to establish boundaries regarding personal space and privacy within the shared home to respect each parent’s autonomy.
The nesting arrangement offers a unique approach to co-parenting, prioritizing children’s stability and minimizing disruptions. While it requires careful planning and legal considerations, it can be a viable option for parents committed to working collaboratively. By addressing legal aspects and potential challenges, parents can create a nurturing environment that supports their children’s well-being.